Potty Training — 7 Steps Cheat Sheet
Chest Sheet for Parents: Reminders of Dos and Don’ts In Each Block of Learning
Block One: Peeing and Pooping on the Potty While Naked, Either with Prompting or Without
By far the most nerve-wracking days are the first few of potty training. Here’s a few reminders in those first days:
- Do not be attached to how long this block takes. Usually one to three days but not always.
- Look for progress, not perfection!
- Do not ask if your child has to go, prompt by telling. “Come it’s time to go to the potty.”
- Be watchful without stalking. Don’t over-prompt or hover This will create pressure on the child and will backfire in resistance.
- Stay off your phone.
- Use easy, natural catch times (upon waking, before and after sitting, eating, car rides, before nap or bad time).
- This is just another thing you are teaching your child. Lead with confidence, silliness and creativity.
- Do not post on Facebook. It will undermine your confidence.
- Don’t be afraid to use the Red Solo Cup Trick.
- Do not expect self-initiation. If it happens, wonderful… but it won’t be consistent, so it’s unreliable.
- All you are doing is bringing your child from I’m Clueless to I Peed to I’m Peeing to I Have to Go Pee. Look for progress along that timeline.
- Do not bribe or try to convince your child to use the potty. Blend it in with other tasks; “Let’s clean up your blocks and go potty and wash hands and then eat lunch.”
Block Two: Peeing and Pooping on the Potty, with Clothes On (Commando), with Prompting or Without
Remember that Block Two is the crux of potty training. Most kids do fine naked: it’s putting clothes on that changes everything. For some kids, wetting few pairs of pants is perfectly normal before clicking.
- Use elastic-waist pants for greater independence and because they’re faster to remove.
- It’s okay to bounce between Blocks One and Two for a day or two. Get a good pee on the potty and then put some pants on for a while.
- if poop is happening in the pants, go back to Block One.
- Dresses are fine for little girl (and boys, if they like them).
- it’s okay to take off pants when you see your child’s signal.
- Even if your child begins to self-initiate, you should still prompt. Consistent self-initiating should not be expected.
- If you are being met with resistance, back off. You are most likely hovering or overprompting.
- Use the throwaway prompt; remind your child to remind herself. “Your potty is right over there. Le me know if you need help when you need it.”
- Use the phrase “After you go pee, then we can…” Don’t let this slip into bribary. There’s a big difference.
Block Three: Peeing and Pooping on the Potty in Different Situations, with Prompting or Without
Yay! Block Three is all about leaving the house! Public restrooms can be scary! Always get a good pee before leaving the house. Make it part of the leaving ritual. In the early days, build in enough time so you have some wiggle room to get that pee before you leave.
- Have Post-its in your purse to cover the automatic flusher.
- Bring the potty chair in the car so your child has the option to use it in the car if she is freaked out by public restrooms.
- Also carry a foldable insert with you in a ziplock for reducing public toilet seats.
- If your child is freaked out upon entering a public restroom, abandon the mission. Offer the car potty chair. Do not push this.
- Always show your child where the restroom is, in both public places and friends’ houses.
- At events like parties, be vigilant. Excitement, sugar, and more fluids than usual mean you need to be on high alert. (But don’t be that psycho mom, okay?)
- If your child can hold it till he gets home and there are no accidents, that’s awesome. Many adults won’t pee or poop outside their own homes, either.
- Bring a spare change of clothes. Keep some extras in the car with some baggies. Accidents can happen to anyone.
- Make peeing upon arrival and/or upon leaving part of your routine.
Block Four: Peeing and Pooping on the Potty with Underpants On
You are more than welcome to try undies at any point in time. Undies fit snug around the same muscles as diapers and can activate the muscle memory to just pee.
- If the first day of undies brings on a lot of accidents where there were none, it’s cool to hold off a bit more.
- Undies are a great natural consequence. If the child wets them, they must go back to commando as a learning tool, but this can be motivating to the child, so use it.
- Buy a size up so the undies are not as snug as the diaper was.
- There is nothing wrong with being commando for a long time. Many adults don’t wear undies. If your child does well with commando, that’s fine.
- Boxers work really well.
Block Five: Consistent Self-Initiation
Self-initiation is the by far the biggest expectation people have in potty training. It is normal and right for your child to need you to help them with potty training. Prompting is a small crutch. Do not remove it too soon.
- Reliable self-initiation usually happens within around three weeks from your start date.
- It can take longer than that. Do not stress out unless your child still needs you to prompt every time after a year.
- Because your child self-initiates once doesn’t mean he always will. Still be aware of your child’s signals and don’t be afraid to prompt when needed.
Block Six: Night/Nap Training (Unless You Are Doing It All Together)
Night training is the most unscientific process ever. Remember that you must usually wake your child at least once in the beginning because ten to twelve hours is a long time not to pee.
- Read chapter 6, “Nighttime Training,” again. Especially, “Is Night Training necessary?”
- Begin the Upside Pyramid of Fluids before actually night training. Once fluids are being monitored, your very well may start staying dry on their own.
- Night training is possible in a crib. But easier in a bed.
- Two-piece pajamas!!! Sleep sacks will make night peeing very hard.
- When possible, leave the little potty by the child’s bed. We want to give the child every opportunity to do this on her own, if she decides to.
- Don’t chase time. If you find you are doing everything possible and there’s no discernible pattern, it’s okay to rediaper at night for a month or two. While some adjusting of wake-ups may be necessary, don’t chase time all over the night. Try to pick up the child’s pattern, if possible.
- Night training is never behavior. The child is never manipulating you with peeing in the night.
Block Seven: College… Still Needing to Prompt Occasionally
Sort of a joke, sort of not. Your child will need reminding and prompting for years to come. The only difference will be, it will be woven into the fabric of your everyday life. There is no distinct finish line for potty training. I like to say this: when you can have five consecutive thoughts that have nothing to do with pee and poop, your child is well on his way.
Accidents happen. Molars, big or small life changes, daylight savings… all kinds of things can affect the process. If there’s a backslide, go back and run through the blocks again, super fast.
